My Ex Is Dating Someone New, What Should I Do?
1. Don’t Panic!
Remember those buzz words from the famous book “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?” Well, yes. Between you and me: it’s the solution to 100% of the dating problems that happen. Okay, maybe not 100% — it can’t make that awful date you had alright — but what it can do is change your perspective towards what you just went through.
The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath and make sure that you don’t react to the news (read send an angry text, write on their Facebook wall or worse, call on their cell phone and shout profanities).
If you found out from a common friend that they saw your ex hanging out with a blonde in a bar you frequent, there is no need to sit on your sofa and watch sad movies. The first thing you need to do is take a deep breath and make sure that you don’t react to the news (read send an angry text, write on their Facebook wall or worse, call on their cell phone and shout profanities).
2. Take Stock Of The Situation
If you are still “no-contact” with your ex, and got the news of he dating someone else from a common friend, then you need to make sure that this person isn’t bluffing. Once you know that your ex is dating someone else for sure, take perspective of the situation. Know that you would still be with them if it had worked out. I know it’s easier said than done when it comes to the matters of the heart, but you need to feed the rational side of your mind instead of the emotional. Trying to peddle to your sadness will only make you sadder, so, don’t fall for that trap!
3. It Does Not Reflect On How You Are
Know that he did a horrible thing by dating during “non-contact.” It probably speaks of his insecurity more than you. It’s true that you’d have all sorts of thoughts from if you weren’t good enough for him or what does this woman have that you don’t and so on and so forth. But instead of making a laundry list of your supposed mistakes in the relationship, what you need to do is tell yourself it’s not your fault at all. If a person can’t respect some unsaid rules of relationships, he wasn’t worth your while any way.
4. You Can’t Control How He Decides To Spend His Life Anymore
Once you have tended to that fragile self-respect of yours, it’s important to know that you are not his girlfriend any more and you can’t do anything about how he chooses to live his life. The dating game these days is such that you will have an opportunity to meet many more guys and you will perhaps have a better chance with them than you now have. Which is why, the best thing to do is to leave your past behind (I know this sounds like a Herculean task) and move forward with another guy.
I want to end by saying that the world is full of possibilities and failure in one thing does not predict a future failure in everything. What you need to do is maintain your self-confidence by turning to people you love and getting help you need. What’s done is done, now you need to pay attention to yourself and your future.
Originally published at https://hubpages.com on March 3, 2020.
